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STMS not tolerating students who bully, want adults to stop


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By Kathryn Reed

“Why do you bully each other mentally and verbally if you are telling us not to?”

“If you continue bullying, what kind of message will you be sending to the children of the world?”

“The commercials you have been making are like cyber bullying.”

“Our school is trying really hard to defeat bullying and you are not helping us.”

Those are excerpts from letters sent by South Tahoe Middle School sixth-graders to lawmakers. Teacher Cindy Cowen has been engaging her students in a discussion about what bullying is so the incidents decrease.

But students don’t understand why adults — especially those who espouse to be leaders — are bullying their opponents and others. They hope their letters will sink in with the politicians to show them that leading by this example is not a great idea and a bit two-faced considering they all seem to say bullying is a bad thing and then they do it.

Beth Delacour

Beth Delacour

“We are trying to defeat

bullying and build

compassion and kindness,

which can be difficult

at this age.”

STMS Principal Beth Delacour

Principal Beth Delacour is trying to change the culture by quashing bullying and in turn hopes it will carryover with the eighth-graders when they enter high school.

“It’s all about relationships. I want to see how far we can take this and see if we can go to the community,” Delacour said. “We are trying to defeat bullying and build compassion and kindness, which can be difficult at this age.”

Bullying comes in many forms. Physical is often the easiest to identify, as are verbal taunts. Sometimes what might seem like innocent teasing is really bullying. Laughing at someone and not letting him have a seat a lunch – more bullying.

Delacour recounts a recent struggle at her school where a boy was in her office crying. It had been a long day. Four incidents, which taken individually might not have seemed like much, were in the end too much to handle without help.

Delacour called in the perpetrators. They listened. Hearing how their actions had a compound effect on a fellow student visibly moved them. They seemed to get what they were doing was bullying and that it was wrong.

What’s good about this example is that it was resolved without the victim doing harm to himself or others. But what worries educators and other youth advocates is what happens to the person – young or old – who doesn’t have someone to talk to, or doesn’t have a way to peacefully change what is going on.

On Nov. 9 South Tahoe Middle School is having two morning assemblies for the entire student body called Rachel’s Challenge. The public is invited that night at 7pm to hear the same message in the multipurpose room.

Rachel Scott was the first person killed at Columbine High School in April 1999. Her father, Darrell, founded Rachel’s Challenge as a way to stop bullying and violence.

Delacour said she was in tears the first time she saw it.

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Comments

Comments (9)
  1. L Norberg says - Posted: November 8, 2010

    I look forward to Rachel’s Challenge on the 9th. Thanks for bringing this presentation to Tahoe.

  2. Robbin says - Posted: November 8, 2010

    Again, the kids remind us of our job to be the adult in all situations and to hold the line so they know where the boundaries are. Without it, we all don’t stand a chance of making things better.

    “The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any.”

    Fred Astaire

  3. Noodle says - Posted: November 8, 2010

    Way to bring to light the ongoing and troubling aspects that alot of our ‘leaders’ lack. Hope you get a wonderful turnout and lots of positive discussions from Rachel’s Challenge.

  4. Virginia Glenn says - Posted: November 8, 2010

    Go For It Beth. If anyone can change hearts you can! It may take a while to crack the harder nuts but you’ll do it. Hugs, V

  5. lisa says - Posted: November 8, 2010

    has anyone heard if this is really graphic? my daughter said she heard that the pictures they show are pretty scary.

  6. lisa says - Posted: November 8, 2010

    I went online and researched the site and it dose not look anything like the “stuff” her friends told her. Thanks anyways.:-)

  7. STMS teacher says - Posted: November 9, 2010

    We had the assemblies today and they were fantastic. It is not “graphic”, but is very moving. It getsthe students thinking about the difference a little kindness can make in the lives of others. Very powerful stuff. If you can go to the evening showing, you should.

  8. Angela says - Posted: November 12, 2010

    Out of the mouths of babes. I went to the evening showing of Rachel’s Challenge with my 4th grader (my middle schooler recommended it). I am so happy I did. It opened up doors for discussion and insight into what my daughter (yes even in 4th grade) has gone through. We should bring it to our elementary schoolers as well, and Beth, I have faith in our community. Yes, it can be done!

  9. Dave says - Posted: November 13, 2010

    Beth is great ! We’re so glad to have her out of the D.O. Tarwater is the biggest bully in the district. Let’s work together to get him out of our town. No more segregation and greenwashing in our town.