Opinion: Putting the spotlight on domestic violence
By Ellen R. Shaffer
Her husband described the abuse: “I would hold her hostage and terrorize her.” The Kaiser patient reported how she finally decided to leave: “I’ll never forget the office visit when my physician said, ‘I’m afraid if your husband doesn’t kill you, the stress will.’ ”
Last week’s groundbreaking decision by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services to require health plans to cover domestic violence counseling without requiring a co-pay will give women and their health care providers an important new incentive to call out the distress signals of abuse, and to take action.
Domestic violence is a widespread, harmful and expensive public health issue. Public awareness campaigns, advocacy groups and laws offer support and a way out, but too many individuals remain isolated and stigmatized. Every year, 2 million women experience domestic violence, more than new cases of breast cancer or deaths from cardiovascular disease. Also:
— More than three women a day are murdered by current or former husbands or boyfriends.
— Homicide is the second-leading cause of injury-related death among pregnant women.
— 6.5 percent of California women report physical violence by a partner in the past year.
— 24 percent of U.S. women have experienced physical domestic abuse at some point in their lives. Domestic violence can include threats, isolation, humiliation, unwanted sexual activities and limiting access to financial resources.
— Women who experience domestic violence, and children who witness it in the home, also suffer from an array of long-term mental health and medical conditions. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention estimates that the economic burden of domestic violence in the United States is $8 billion per year in direct medical costs and lost productivity.
Ellen R. Shaffer is the co-director of the Center for Policy Analysis in San Francisco.
Men are also victims of domestic violence. More often than you might think.
I was a park ranger for three years and I learned about why law enforcement hates going into domestic violence situations so much. It’s a lose-lose proposition. You try to take the perpetrator away, and the victim will attack you and/or refust to testify! The dynamic is bizarre. They push each others’ buttons and crave the drama. Not always, but in my experience, a strong percentage.
Okay, go ahead. I know I’ll be attacked again for my observations.
No attack here. You’re right. Domestic violence calls are among the most dangerous, difficult and heart-breaking law enforcement officers ever face.
It’s a very strange dynamic, although I can’t agree that they “crave the drama” so much as that they don’t know any other way to deal with each other. They typically were raised in violent homes, so they think violence is normal, and so do their own children, and so on, until the cycle is broken.
It takes incredible courage and strength of character to break the cycle of domestic violence, and it takes a completely dependable support system. Anyone in the Tahoe region who’s ready to leave a violent situation might be well advised to go to a large city outside the basin and mountain areas. It’s a lot easier to disappear in a big city.
Yes, it is true that men are also victims of DV, and these services need to also be available to them. I worked as a domestic violence counselor for years and have worked with hundreds of DV survivors. I can attest to how difficult it is for victims to leave a violent relationship, particularly when children are involved. The domestic violence situation is incredibly complex. The emotional abuse of isolation and control as well as the systematic beating down of a person’s self esteem takes it’s toll. Eventually victims end up believing they have no worth, and may even feel they are to blame for the violence. Due to the emotional battering, many believe they have few or no options. Some literally believe they are powerless over what happens to them. Those who do seek options often find this causes the control and violence to escalate and the threats to become more serious. Death threats, stalking, abuse of beloved pets, threats of kidnapping children, or harming friends and family are real threats and the victim knows this only too well. Another common dynamic is that the batterer shows remorse, promises to change, and the relationship is “better” for awhile until the cycle starts again. This cycle can be like quicksand for a victim, keeping them stuck and lessening their resolve to leave. There is no “easy answer” to the epidemic of domestic violence. The effort to end it should, and must, include the medical community, social service agencies, faith based organizations, family, friends, and law enforcement.
DOG YOU ARE VERY CORRECT.
There’s some really mean,controlling, strange people and families know it,and hide because it’s part life and there’s not enough jails,prisons, to lock all that falls under this law.
Makes no difference what sex you are or race or religion,or political party,It’s universal on the entire planet.