Opinion: A lesson in civility
By Cal Thomas
When one writes about moral convictions, it’s probably a good idea to consistently live up to them. That way people can still disagree with your convictions, but they have a difficult time accusing you of hypocrisy.
Earlier this month at the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) in Washington, I failed to live up to one of my highest principles. Here’s the background. The story about the Obama administration’s attempt to force Catholic and other faith-based institutions to offer employees free contraception in their health care coverage was still fresh. I was asked to be on a panel before what looked like a crowd of about 1,000 conservatives, hungry for “red meat.”
A clip was played from Rachel Maddow’s MSNBC program. It featured her commenting on the subject. I stupidly said before thinking, “I think she’s the best argument in favor of her parents using contraception.” I then added, “and all the rest of the crowd at MSNBC, too, for that matter.”
It didn’t matter that far worse things have been said in print and on TV about me. I am not supposed to behave like that. I co-wrote a book with my liberal Democratic friend, Bob Beckel, called “Common Ground: How to Stop the Partisan War That is Destroying America.” We also write a column together for USA Today. One of the principles in which I believe is not to engage in name-calling; which, to my shame, I did.
The next morning I felt bad about it, so I called Ms. Maddow to apologize. It wasn’t one of those meaningless “if I’ve offended anyone…” apologies; it was heartfelt. I had embarrassed myself and was a bad example to those who read my column and expect better from me.
Maddow could not have been more gracious. She immediately accepted my apology. On her show she said publicly, “I completely believe his apology. I completely accept his apology.” To be forgiven by one you have wronged is a blessing, it’s even cleansing.
Politics has always been a contact sport. Thomas Jefferson and John Adams went at each other like the worst of enemies, using some of the most outrageous and slanderous language. I don’t have bona fides equal to their founding of America, so there is nothing of similar magnitude on which I can fall back.
Maddow also accepted my invitation to lunch and we will soon meet in New York. I am looking forward to it. Since the incident, which, of course, garnered a mini-tornado of media and blogosphere coverage, I have watched a couple of her shows. Without engaging in any qualifiers, she is a strong and competent advocate for her position. Why do so many of us only watch programs that reinforce what we already believe? Where is the growth in that? Whatever else she may or may not be, she is my fellow American.
I have many liberal friends acquired over the years. They are impossible to avoid in the media, but I don’t wish to avoid them. They became my friends because I stopped seeing them as labels and began seeing them as persons with innate worth. That is what I failed to do in my first response to Rachel Maddow. One might expect a pro-lifer like me to support the birth of fellow human beings and not suggest they should never have been born.
I expect to like Rachel Maddow because my instinct is to separate the value of a person from his or her political position. For some strange reason (demon possession, perhaps) I failed to do that at CPAC.
So, apology delivered and accepted and lunch will soon be served. I’m trying to decide whose career might be hurt more should someone take a picture of us enjoying a meal and –it is to be hoped, at least by me — each other.
Cal Thomas is co-author with Bob Beckel of “Common Ground: How to Stop the Partisan War That is Destroying America”.
I think both sides of the political aisle should take this commentary to heart. It is Ok to have heartfelt, strong opinions, but lately our political discourse is all about attacking each other and not really discussing the issues. And of course instead of discussing the issues as they really are, both sides have a tendency to characterize the other side as a demon with evil intentions, instead of just having a different take on what should be the role of government and the individual in our society.
A factual Lesson in civilty.
A frenemey of mine e-mailed “If Fox News is so slanted why voted #1 AGAIN. A #1 FAIR AND BALANCED NEWS STATION.
My response: Rush Limbaugh is #1 on the air,Fox TV talk #1. Think why? Fox fools their followers by telecasting exactly what they desire and insist hearing and watching.
Not to long ago Roger Ailes was a guest on The George Stephanopoulos Sunday Show.FYI his Show regulars were Cokie Roberts,her dad was a Republican congressman,George Will k/a a right leaning columnist for the WAPO.and of course Peggy Noonan (mad about Ronnie)
Roger when asked about his programing tactics on talk tv, his comment was “I am only interested in the bottom line.”
As long as Hate the Black Guy is in vogue Fox will be #1
I have another Fox frenemey desclaimed being an Obama racists stating “i dont like his policies” My comment “You have no idea what his policies are! You are told what his policies are by Fox and Fools.”
PS Same goes for the Rush.
Alex said:
“As long as Hate the Black Guy is in vogue Fox will be #1”
Ah, more civility from the Left. Obama managed to get elected in spite of the fact that Black people comprise only 12% of the population of the United States. If we’re all “haters” how did that happen?
Try to start thinking before you make sweeping condemnations of groups of people, Dude.
Hi Dog ! I am sure that the Confederate States of America would challange the 12&
number. There several reasons Barack Hussein Obama was elected President.
In the year 2000 George Bush was appointed President by the Republican Supreme Court with Cheney’s buddy Justice Scalia being the opinator.Not long after,we invaded Iraq. Then we started to “find” that we did not FIND WMDs or Chem.weapons,Saddam Hussein did not harbor and support Al-Quede, Cheneys Halliburton no bid contracts. The Cheney Rumsfeld Shadow Blackwater Army. Then Cheney’s man Ahmed Chalabi was a fraud When George W. was finally elected President all of this finally came to light.His big defenders were Fox and Fools along with Murdochs NY Post and much later the Wall street Journal. Pay attention to Fox and Fools, their Fool Followers. Over 4500 troops killed over 30,000 wounded and maimed.
That is why we have President Obama. If they continue to fight over the Separation of Church and State,raping women with the Transvaginal Proeedure, OB will be a shoe in.
PS I forget the Teabaggers with their disgusting posters.
Enough already
So much for civil discourse.
Indeed, “Dogula”, indeed.
So were you sitting next to the Grand Dragon of the KKK who was so welcomly invited by the GOP to CPAC?
I don’t understand the Neo Conservatives, it’s ok to be racist but bieng gay is wrong.
“If you hate like us” your on the “right” side – is the message from your party.
Stay out of peoples personal lives, this is true conservatism.
Can you imagine this country without contraception? I guess the less educated the voter the more votes for the GOP so I guess you all have the correct strategy in place.