Opinion: Choices of adults make me sad
By Kathryn Reed
I looked around at the students – all sixth-graders – wondering how we got to this place. And I felt sad.
I didn’t know the phrase “gateway drug” when I was their age. I could not have told a narcotics officer what drugs were dangerous. (I didn’t even know what a narcotics officer was.) These kids could and did. They mentioned cocaine, meth and black tar heroin.
That, too, made me sad.
I’m not of the generation that didn’t do drugs. I have my stories. I have my lessons.
I just wonder where we went wrong that life’s dangers are robbing children of their youth, of their innocence, of what should be the time of their life when they shouldn’t have to worry about all of these adult issues.
Maybe I’m naïve. I’m OK with that.
I just wonder how life got so out of hand that we have to have programs for sixth-graders about the dangers of drugs. I wonder how we got to the place where some of them, and even those who are younger, have felt peer pressure to try drugs.
I know life isn’t easy. And I know some of these kids at 13 have experienced things I hope to never experience.
I grew up with a father who smoked cigarettes until I was in junior high. (They weren’t called middle schools back then.) A friend and I took a few from his truck. I gagged. I still don’t understand the allure of smoking.
I remember dad drank Manhattans. Plenty of hard alcohol was consumed on duplicate bridge nights. That was my exposure to drugs in my home.
I remember being offered pot in high school, telling one of my sisters and subsequently getting a lecture that left me scared. Big sisters are that way. They can be more convincing and threatening than parents.
Maybe at 46 I just wish the world were a little less dependent on drugs. The clean air of Tahoe, the natural beauty – they are intoxicating in their own right. There I go again – being naïve to think those things are enough.
When I choose to poison my body I do so with alcohol – usually wine. I don’t have a problem with adults doing what they want as long as they don’t endanger others.
Blame can be spread around as to why drugs are getting into young people’s hands. But at some point we have to look in the mirror. What is our individual role in all of this? Did I drink in front of a young person when I shouldn’t have? Did I laugh about a story about college that glamorized drug use? Did I unknowingly encourage dangerous, illegal behavior? Probably. Intentionally? No.
But I’m still responsible.
We all have choices. I just don’t want mine to have unintended consequences.
I’m angry that as a society we have gotten to the point where middle school and elementary students need to be taught about the dangers of drugs. We, as a society, have failed them. If it weren’t for adults and our behavior, children would not be into drugs.
That, too, makes me sad.
All the programs in the world are not going to stop the drug problem. Adults need to take the blame and the responsibility.
The message of Drug Store Project is that we all have choices. As a community, especially the adults, shouldn’t our choices be to allow kids to be kids, for them not to have “adult” concerns, and for each of us to lead a life that is worth emulating?
Go ahead and disagree with me. All you’ll do is make me even sadder.
Bravo Kae and thank you for spending the time at the event to watch and listen. Kids will follow the examples set by all of us. I hopeful that in discussing this more, just one adult takes the time and conviction to make a personal change. Thank you to all of the agency workers and to all of the volunteers who attended the Drug Store Project yesterday. Thank you to all of the “behind the scenes” individuals at TYFS, LTUSD, and the service clubs and Boards who continue to support this event for our kids and our community. One kid at a time….one adult at a time. If our efforts achieve this, we are making progress.
Kae, This is nothing new. I remember looking at film strips about various drugs (marijuana, LSD, STP, barbiturates, speed)In the late sixties when I was in 5th and 6th grade. There wasn’t much reality to them as they were more propaganda based (not much more factual than “Reefer Madness”). I do find it funny that you don’t equate alcohol in the same grouping as these drugs. Alcohol kills more (180,000 a year in the US from physiological effects alone) and ruins more lives than all elicit drugs combined (17,000 deaths on average per year in the US from physiological effects). Cigarettes and tobacco products kill 460,000 people per year in the US.
Not trying to belittle the Drug Store Project, as I believe that education is the best way to keep people from making less than ideal lifestyle choices, but truly believe that we should include alcohol and tobacco as equal partners with other illicit drugs when trying to educate our youth, regardless of their legal status.
Drug Store Project does cover the dangers of alcohol and tobacco. There is one session that is presented by a STHS graduate who almost died by drinking at a party. There is another session about tobacco and what chemicals are in cigarettes, and more.
Congrats Lisa on a worthwhile endeavor. This was the first year I couldn’t volunteer. Thank you Kae for bringing this up.
How about the 3rd grade teacher fired last week for not noticing two children having oral sex under their desk. You can’t tell me this child behaviour or abuse wasn’t learned at home. The children should be taken away from their parents.
30year local, thank you for clarifying that.
Kae, if you don’t see the major causes of this loss of childhood you must be blind.
Let’s start with adults who consider children a burden and are willing to let schools do the raising and feeding.
How about the exteme permissive society.
Been to the movies in the last 40 years to see the violence and sex offered to little ones.
How does MTV grab you? There is a wholesome outlet for degeneracy.
How about no discipline in the schools.
How about the world of psychology and socialology with their excuses for any and all bad behavior. How about the diversion of tax dollars from American children to massive amounts of money to legal and illegal immigrant children (great for the educrat community.)
We as a society are right behind Rome and things don’t look so good for a comeback. It will take more than a bandage or two to stop the hemorrhaging,
but seflish adults will keep on being selfish and to hell with our future generations.
Drugs are about money. People who introduce drugs to kids do it to make money, and they do. They use the kids to make money for themselves. They convince others to use drugs so that they, themselves can have fancy cars or whatever. They are extremely selfish and clever. That’s it.
Kudos to todays parents who provide a safe, loving home for their children. So many kids are growing up in broken homes, alcoholic, drug using, abusive homes, it’s no wonder they know so much at 6th grade (and younger) level. Perhaps their parents have been teaching them, warning about the dangers of drugs and alcohol so they would be knowledgable. We can hope so. A way to turn this around is to start with the parents; teach them good values, how to love and live happy, productive lives, and with luck their children will follow . It’s a snowballing problem that must be reversed. No one received an instruction book when we became parents, so our hard-earned knowledge, bad or good, had to come from our family and adult mentors.
It is always a pleasure to volunteer for the Drug Project, to see the bright young faces responding to the seriousness of this message…. that of making the right choices. But I agree wih you, Kae, how sad it is to see those raising their hands, that they KNOW what these drugs are. I wondered yesterday how many of them don’t have both parents in the home, and how many will bend to peer pressure and do the wrong thing. Let’s hope yesterday’s lessons take root.
More compassionate adult mentors are needed in their lives.
I grew up with 4-day-a-pack smoking (Mother) and a lot-of-end-of-the-work week drinking (Father), and it was much later that I realized that her smoking came from the pressures of his drinking…though he always excused it as “earning it” (think of the hard-drinking habit of a ‘construction stiff’. . .
I tried cigarettes for about a two-week period when a sophomore, but wondered why am I doing this, I don’t even like it, and haven’t smoked cigarettes since.
A number of years ago, someone I met had written a book, “New Castles in the Sky”, defining man’s history with substances that end up taking him out of the everyday world – turns out there has always been some form in man’s world: beer, wine (‘nectar of the gods’), tobacco, pot, then on to harder destructive drugs (heroin, speed, pharmaceuticals, etc.,etc.). . .
Of course, quite often it turns destructive not only to the individual, but to an entire family, and then society at large. But we as a species have not yet grown up enough to “draw the line” well enough – as in, in earlier days, excusing people’s destruction with the explanation, “(they) were just drunk” – that’s where the damage really begins – when we look the other way at excess.
If one of those sixth-graders learned to look at his/her situation and decided not to mimic the very adults that make you so sad, then the entire day will have been worth it. . .
The lessons are worth learning, as most don’t fully realize that this form of escape is the saddest part of humanity, having been part of it for literally thousands of years. . . since coming out of the cave.
well – it seems lots of folks felt compelled to respond. All the other details aside, I certainly came from an era and area in which drugs and alcohol were a major component of high school (I would say 90% of the kids in my high school experiemneted with drugs) – but no, I also do not remember this becoming an issue with kids in grade school (of which I never knoew of more than 1 or 2 kids that did drugs at that age and they were the types of kids everyone else was scared of!). I think in the 60s and even through the 70s, grade school kids were definitely under more dirct control of their parents. Something IS different, and what it seem to be is the the higher percentage of kids who come home from school to empty houses. Why is this? Yes it’s great that Mom’s can participate and compete in the workforce, but this is the downside of very few stay at home parents. Yes, many parents both work to meet what they perceive as economic needs – but we have to question at what price? Maybe if money and material posessions (smart phones, falt screens, multiple SUV’s etc) are so important, maybe one should pass on trying to raise kids! or at least not act so stupified as to why they are turning out the way they do!
It is a sad situation ,and hate to say it ,but its going to get worse,The crystal ball says so,
It is a sad situation ,and hate to say it ,but its going to get worse,The crystal ball says so,Run Forest run ,No where to hide from this ,
most parents here in town smoke pot in front of there Children
second hand smoke does get you loaded
think about that the next time your smoking in the car with your Child in the back seat
Sounds like a great program but these have been around for a long time. I remember DARE when I was a kid, however it was found that DARE actually increased drug use as it was facilitated by police whom the students did not trust.
Problem with drugs is American’s appetite for them and more specifically our black market. Since all of our MMJ clubs/dispensories might be closing soon you will likely see an increase in drug use as this market will be pushed underground exposing more people to the black market. Ie: when going to see the pot dealer (rather than the dispensory) the provider might offer you another drug like coke or ecstacy.
I remember as a teen growning up we always had access to drugs through out pot dealer but it was very hard to get alcohol, I expect the same here.
Hopefully we can keep programs like this up to offset the poor decisions made by our Federal Government.
chief…”most parents smoke pot in front of there(sic) children”? Who do you hang out with? Being a parent in this town for the last 28 years I’ve never once witnessed that from anyone I know or any of my kids’ friend’s parents.
I would guess that if a parent did smoke pot it would be in front of their kids, but to say “most parents” is a crazy observation.
It’s a very sad day when my 8th grader informs me that kids at school are smoking pot right after school. She doesn’t know of anyone that is drinking or smoking cigarettes, but she knows of some that are smoking pot. Thank goodness we communicate well and she knows that pot is not acceptable, and we’ve practiced scenarios on what she should say if offered pot.
yo 30year I hang out with everybody
from the church goer to the drunk at the bar to the most stoned in town
I never did live a sheltered life
today I spent time with over 100 people
promoting the Parade
maybe you will come to the Spirit Parade and bring your Children May 17th
if you did a survey of how many people smoked pot here in town,you would be surprized at the large number
protecting your Children is the right thing to do
but they are individuals and they will make there own choices
it’s a hard lesson, I know I had to learn it