Celebrating the worst Hollywood movies of 2017

By Howie Nave 

Before the 90th Academy Awards show takes place this Sunday there’s another awards show happening the night before the Oscars that’s been around since 1981. Hollywood doesn’t like to give it much recognition.

Why? Well, unlike the Emmys and the Golden Globes that are a barometer of who might win at the Oscars, the annual Razzie Awards celebrates Hollywood’s worst movies and all those responsible for making it, so Hollywood would rather you skip that show.

But, c’mon, how many times have you gone to see a movie only to find out that it was so bad you wanted your money back? Exactly. Enter John Wilson who majored in film and television at UCLA and after graduation worked on film marketing campaigns so he knows a thing or two about the industry. And yes, he asked himself that same question after seeing a couple of turkeys and realized there were so many bad movies out there that a niche just had to be filled. That laid the foundation what would ultimately become the annual Razzie Awards.

This will be its 38th year. It has become an institution right up there with all those other award shows. But I digress. Let’s go back in time shall we? 

The year was 1981, the year “Mommie Dearest” and “Wolfen” were released. Wilson told me he’d had enough after seeing a double feature of “Xanadu” and “Can’t Stop the Music” and the theater owner wouldn’t give him his money back when he asked for a refund. Granted it was 99 cents, but it was the principle. While driving home he thought about how bad those movies were and then thought of other equally bad flicks as well such as “Raise the Titanic,” “Saturn 5” and Neil Diamond’s “The Jazz Singer” among others. Wilson crystallized that idea at his next Oscar after party potluck that he had been having in his living room, but in 1981 this time almost as a goof came up with the idea of creating ballots that he passed out to his friends (who thought it was hysterical) for some of the worst flicks and as simplified as it sounds the very first Golden Raspberry Awards program (Razzie for short) was born. 

This marks the 13th or 14th year that Wilson and I have had our annual chat regarding the worst movies that Hollywood turns out each year. We could easily go on for hours taking turkeys a part because some years the bad movies seem to outnumber the good ones. I can’t believe how many movies released this past year were either sequels, prequels, re-boots or movies based on old television sitcoms that weren’t that great to begin with. Nowadays it’s all about creating the franchise, which is why when I reviewed Tom Cruise’s “The Mummy” (remade pretty close to the Brendan Fraser franchise which I thought was pretty good) I felt 10 minutes into that turkey it had a forced feel to it wanting, no begging you, the moviegoer to want this to become the latest franchise to join his “Mission: Impossible” and “Jack Reacher” franchises. So, I was not surprised that Cruise’s “Mummy” has been nominated at this year’s Razzies for worst picture, worst actor (Cruise), worst supporting actor (Russell Crowe), worst supporting actress (Sofia Boutella who is the first female Mummy), worst director (Alex Kurtzman), worst screenplay and my favorite, worst remake, rip-off or sequel.  

At least Cruise has been spared being nominated or winning the most Razzie awards for worst actor. That distinction goes to Madonna whose record could stand for quite awhile. The Material Girl has nine wins and 15 Razzie nominations to her credit. She received her first Razzie for 1987’s “Shanghai Surprise” and wound up winning in the worst actress category the following year as well for “Who’s That Girl.” A few more nominations and wins later and Madonna found herself the recipient of the worst actress of the century award beating out Brooke Shields and Elizabeth Berkley, among others.

In the male category Sylvester Stallone has eight wins with an incredible 22 nominations. He received his first nomination and win for the 1985 bomb “Rhinestone” and trust me, that was a tough movie to sit all the way through. I wanted to yell, “Yo, where’s Adrian?” 

For years Wilson has extended an invite to attend his annual tradition and I finally took him up on his offer a few years back and had a blast. Like the Oscars there were singers and sketches. Just down the street where I was the red carpet was already rolled out for the stars that would make their way for Hollywood’s best movies. Very surreal to say the least. There have been many Razzie highlights over the years; Wilson telling me that at the 24th Razzie Awards actor Ben Affleck was up in the worst actor category for his performances in the movies “Gigi,” “Daredevil” and “Paycheck” (which I kinda liked actually because of the time travel significance). Affleck was on “Larry King Live” in 2004 and a perplexing looking Larry King (who seemed to have no idea what a Razzie was) gave Affleck his trophy live on-air.

Wilson has a lot of friends in the business and Affleck’s trophy found it’s way to King’s desk. Affleck commented that the trophy was kinda cheap looking and it fell apart (or he broke it on air ,I forget) and left it there. The very resourceful Wilson was able to get Affleck’s trophy back and he put it up on eBay, raising well over a thousand dollars auctioning off this Razzie, enough to rent the Ivar Theater for the 2005 Razzie Awards. But wait, there’s more.

The following year actress Halle Berry made a surprise appearance to accept her worst actress Razzie award for “Catwoman” and while holding her “Monster’s Ball” Oscar from 2001 with her Razzie trophy in the other gave a speech that would’ve made a sailor blush. It was all in good fun and gave The Razzie Awards are a ton of good willed credibility.

The biggest had to be at the 2010 Razzie Awards where actress Sandra Bullock showed up accepting her award for worst actress from the movie “All About Steve.” Her speech was classic saying she didn’t believe that all 700 of the Golden Raspberry Committee’s voting members had watched her movie so she wheeled out a Radio Flyer red wagon with DVD copies of “All About Steve” and tossed them out to the very appreciative crowd. OK, that to me shows just how cool Bullock is, and the best part? The following night at the Oscar Awards she won for best actress in the movie “The Blindside.” Now that is classic folks.

By the way, actress Meryl Streep has never been nominated for a Razzie and Oliver Stone’s “Wall Street” (1987) is still the only film to win both an Oscar and a Razzie. Michael Douglas won best actor at the Oscars for his role in that movie, but his co-star, Daryl Hannah was nominated and won a Razzie for worst supporting actress. 

Here’s a list for this year’s lucky contenders: 

Worst Picture
“Baywatch”
“The Emoji Movie”
“Fifty Shades Darker”
“The Mummy”
“Transformers XVII: The Last Knight”

Worst Actress
Katherine Heigl — “Unforgettable”
Dakota Johnson — “”Fifty Shades Darker
Jennifer Lawrence — “Mother!”
Tyler Perry — “BOO! 2: A Medea Halloween”
Emma Watson — “The Circle”

Worst Actor

Tom Cruise — “The Mummy”
Johnny Depp — “Pirates of The Caribbean XIII: Dead Men Tell No Tales”
Jamie Dornan — “Fifty Shades Darker”
Zac Efron — Baywatch”
Mark Wahlberg — “Daddy’s Home 2 & Transformers XVII: The Last Knight”

Worst Supporting Actor 

Javier Bardem — “Mother” and “Pirates of The Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales”
Russell Crowe  — “The Mummy”
Josh Duhamel — “Transformers XVII: Last Knight”
Mel Gibson — “Daddy’s Home 2”
Anthony Hopkins — “Collide”and “Transformers XVII: Last Knight”

Worst Supporting Actress

Kim Basinger — “Fifty Shades Darker”
Sofia Boutella — “The Mummy”
Laura Haddock — “Transformers XVII: Last Knight”
Goldie Hawn — “Snatched”
Susan Sarandon — “A Bad Moms Christmas”

Worst Screen Combo

Any Combination of Two Characters, Two Sex Toys or Two Sexual Positions — “Fifty Shades Darker”
Any Combination of Two Humans, Two Robots or Two Explosions — “Transformers XVII: Last Knight”
Any Two Obnoxious Emojis — “The Emoji Movie”
Johnny Depp & His Worn Out Drunk Routine — “Pirates of the Caribbean XIII: Dead Careers Tell No Tales”
Tyler Perry and Either The Ratty Old Dress or Worn Out Wig — “BOO! 2: A Madea Halloween”

Worst Remake, Rip-off or Sequel

“Baywatch”
“BOO 2: A Medea Halloween”
“Fifty Shades Darker”
“The Mummy”
“Transformers XVII: Last Knight”

Worst Director

Darren Aronofsky — “Mother!”
Michael Bay — “Transformers XVII: Last Knight”
James Foley — “Fifty Shades Darker”
Alex Kurtzman — “The Mummy”
Anthony (Tony) Leonidis — “The Emoji Movie”

Worst Screenplay

“Baywatch”
“The Emoji Movie”
“Fifty Shades Darker”
“The Mummy”
“Transformers XVII: The Last Knight”

In case you skipped it, go back and check out the Worst Screen Combo category and chuckle along with me at some of the items nominated? If you’d like to become a voting member of the Razzies, go online. If you’d like to hear my chat with Razzie founder John Wilson, tune in this Friday on my morning radio show, Howie’s Morning Rush here in South Lake Tahoe on 93-9 KRLT The Lake or listen in the online worldwide (starting at 6:45am PST). To hear our annual conversation uncensored, check out my podcast Friday afternoon where the entire one hour chat will be uploaded. Where? At Howie’s High Sierra Comedy Vault Podcast @ Howienave.com.