Opinion: Gay marriage’s moment has come
By Frank Bruni, New York Times
Remember the AIDS crisis? If you lived in a big American city during its spread, you were witness to constant sorrow and countless examples of gay people treated as second-class citizens.
One was almost certainly this: the steadfast, heartbroken man being shut out of his beloved’s final weeks — not allowed in the hospital room, not welcomed at the grave — because some family members disapproved and no law trumped their bigotry.
This was a recurring story, an infuriating leitmotif, and many gays and our allies remarked and railed that it wouldn’t be happening if committed same-sex relationships got the legal recognition that heterosexual ones did.
Sometimes we even used the word “marriage.”
That was 30 years ago.
Now we stand nervously and hopefully on the brink of a milestone. Before the end of June, a month associated with wedding bells and wedding cake, the Supreme Court will issue a major decision about the right of two men or two women to exchange vows in a manner honored by the government. It may well extend same-sex marriage to all 50 states, making it the law of the land.
One never knows how the Supreme Court will really act. It can be a broad ruling, or as narrow a slice as they can do.
In a legal sense it will be quite interesting, considering that ‘marriage’ has been a States right…yet, as pointed out, 37 States have various forms of ‘yes you can’ marriage laws now.
Perhaps the Supreme’s will rule broadly, and see to it that all Gays and Lesbians have the same rights. It’s about time. In fact it is many decades ‘about time’.
It is a highly emotionally and morally/religiously, ETC….charged subject. Same as with abortion. Some will never respect nor accept whatever the Supreme’s decision is. Perhaps, many years from now, MOST will wonder what the fuss was about?? Maybe. It will be a long time coming for my gay friends.
Nice post, Bob. When I was in high school in the ’50s the idea of homosexuality was a distant joke. In a school taught by the Catholic Christian Brothers we didn’t know any homosexuals, or at least we thought we didn’t. In fact, hidden in plain sight, they were all around us, our friends and our teachers.
I had no idea that a friend of mine in the Air Force was homosexual until he was kicked out. Serving in Mississippi and Alabama, as well as Montana and California, I’d seen plenty of racial bigotry – but this was something new, friends forced into hiding and dishonesty by their own sexuality.
The deniers and bigots notwithstanding, we’re in a new world. When my kids were at South Tahoe High both brought home openly gay friends as well as straight. Friends of mine from high school are now out of the closet and willing to talk about their experiences. My devout Catholic cousins have an openly gay son who feels comfortable bringing his partner to family gatherings. A mid-life former girl friend of mine felt comfortable calling me late at night to explain that she was coming out of the closet – I felt both honored and trusted.
I wish I felt the same trust toward the Supreme Court judges and the politicians who counted their votes before they approved their appointments. But I’ve become confident that a growing number of Americans will do and support the right thing, even if it means reducing our “leaders” to mere followers.
Bravo Mr. Bruni! Very well written article that chronicles the decades-long struggle of LGBT rights. I came out in the early 80’s, just as the AIDS crisis was unfolding. These were tragic times of blatant ignorance and hatred; a seemingly endless flow of loss and tragedy with LGBT people, as a group, being given pariah status in society. I knew personally the stings of harassment and discrimination. For several decades I dealt with the odd and uncomfortable reactions of others when I have merely engaged in sharing conversation on an equal level with them. I have been told I was being “prayed for”; not prayer that I would be treated with dignity and respect but prayer that I would become someone other than who I am; misguided prayers to the same God that made me who I am. The moment last year, when I stood in my church surrounded by dear friends, to become legally married to my beloved wife, is one I never thought I would see in my lifetime. There is still much work to do until full equality is ours across the board and in every state but the progress we, as a nation, is making is beyond encouraging. I am grateful to the LGBT movement, all of our “straight” friends and allies, and all of our courageous leaders who have brought us to this incredible time.