Opinion: Have your funeral before you die
By Mary Elizabeth Williams, Salon
A few months ago, I attended one of the best memorials I’ve ever been to. It was a glorious, sunlit afternoon full of friends and music. It was just weeks after my friend Jessica’s birthday. And a month before she died.
Life doesn’t often give us the luxury of being able to ballpark our date of departure. When a male friend died suddenly last winter, I grieved not just for him but for all the things I hadn’t said in our final conversation, a conversation that presumed there would be others to follow. But when a person is facing a certain fate, I wonder why more people don’t throw a party like Jessica’s.
We had met in a cancer support group when we were both in treatment. Last spring, six years after being diagnosed with ovarian cancer, her doctor said she presented no evidence of disease. We went out for a celebratory brunch, toasting the good fortune we shared. Six months later, she was gone.
Thank you, Kae, for sharing this article. I’m currently stable, so this is not something I’ll be doing anytime soon, but ever since my metastatic breast cancer diagnosis, I’ve said that I want to attend my own wake, drink the (really) good wine, hear all the nice things about me, and give everyone one last hug – and boss them around one last time by telling them not to be sad, but rather to take action by donating to metastatic cancer research.